Loki isn’t the problem. YOU are the problem.

I understand the irony of this post given that I am a Heathen who is talking to you from the other side of a keyboard but:
Keyboard Lokeans are fucking annoying.

I am a Lokean. I have been for my entire life. Loki has a place where I am. He always has, and he always will. I used to think that the best way to make people accept Loki was to write ranting posts on Tumblr or on a blog or Facebook. I was ready to fight for Loki in online spaces and was bitter when people didn’t take me – or Loki – seriously.

I don’t remember who or what it was that led to the realization that Doing The Work meant meeting other Heathens in person. But that realization came, and I stopped writing rants on the internet and started attending events in person. I quietly and respectfully showed up and got involved. I followed the rules, made friends, and talked about my personal practice, which was and remains Loki worship heavy.

Do you know what happened? People slowly but steadily became more accepting of Loki’s worship at their events. They saw me, a kinda bland mom-friend who always has snacks and is willing to help out when needed, and realized that maybe, just maybe, these Loki Folk aren’t all that bad.

I wasn’t alone out there. There are plenty of Loki folk like me. Just regular people who pay their bills, love their families and honor Loki. And we’ve all been out here slowly and steadily carving out space for ourselves, Loki, and His folk.

I’m writing this post because someone decided to take issue with The Troth and the former Loki ban. I am a Troth member. My kindred is a Troth kindred, and two of my kinsman are Troth officials. They have been participating in the Loki blots I run the entire time I’ve known them. One of them was a bit Loki shy when we met, but he gives Loki His due and has never been anything but loving and respectful to Loki or me. Those two Troth officials in my kindred are my brothers by choice. They share my Wyrd and knew what they were getting into when we decided to form North River Kindred.

The Troth isn’t perfect. No organization is. But the difference between the members of the Troth and the person who wrote that opinion piece is this:

The Troth has rolled up its sleeves, and the members are doing the work. That writer? All they are doing is writing angry posts filled with misleading information.

North River Kindred has a private Loki blot this weekend – typically, it’s public, but there is still a pandemic outside – and I will sit with my kindred and honor Loki. We will speak His name over the horn and share jokes and stories in His name. There will be food and laughter, which is typical for most Heathen gatherings. There might also be tears because Loki is a cleansing fire that helps to reshape and reform us.

If you don’t have a group to honor Loki with but want to do something, I suggest cupcakes/donuts/cookies and coffee. Make an offering and say something like, “Thanks for the lessons you teach and the gifts you brought the gods.” If you don’t want anything from Loki, make that clear. He’s helpful, so you really need to stress that you don’t want anything. Be respectful and polite, though.

If you have kids and you want to make it a family offering, go get some bubbles and blow them together in Loki’s name. Loki loves kids, and an offering of play and bubbles is perfect for Him. Again, stress that you don’t want anything and say that the bubbles, play, and laughter are being done in His name as thanks for the lessons He teaches and the gifts He brought the gods.

If you don’t want to do anything for Loki, that is okay too. There is no rule saying you have to honor every god. I don’t do anything for most of the gods because I don’t have a desire to. And so far, that seems to be just fine with Them.

If you don’t want to honor Loki, don’t. If you want to honor Him, do that. Either way, I am asking that you do what so many Internet Lokeans can’t seem to do: be kind to people.

After all, Hospitality is a cornerstone of Heathenry. If you want to be included, you need to learn to be a good guest and a good host. The best way to do that is to get off your butt and interact with actual Heathens in real-time (either in person or via Zoom).

If you aren’t willing to do that and you aren’t ready to roll up your sleeves and Do The Work, you aren’t much more than that “Old Man Yells At Cloud” meme.

Watermelon Woes

I ordered groceries this morning and saw that watermelon was on sale. I couldn’t pass up the deal because it’s hotter than Hel’s front porch outside, and y’girl needs all the water she can get. 

What was supposed to be a mini watermelon turned out to be regular-sized. I only paid the sale price, so I’m not complaining about that at all. What I am complaining about, however, is my feral goblin child and his deep-seated need to throw things. Remember that time, just a few sentences ago, when I said that it’s hot outside? Because it is. Between the heat and the lack of a covid vaccine for kids under twelve, we are staying inside. If you’re wondering whether or not this is pleasing Haggis, please note that no, it is very much not pleasing him. 

I don’t blame him. He’s been cooped up for 18 months. 

Our usual walks have been put on hold because of the heat and poor air quality – I have asthma and anything above 40 causes an asthma attack. So this poor kid is full of toddler energy and has nowhere for it to go. 

Enter the watermelon. 

I will be honest here. I was a jackass and left it on the kitchen table. I have been dealing with kids in one way or another for 25 years. I knew better than to leave the watermelon on the table. But I did it anyway, and Haggis made sure I remembered why it was a mistake. 

While I was minding my own business and drinking my coffee, he decided to knock some packages of naan and the paper towels off the kitchen table. I turned in my chair, my iced coffee halfway to my mouth, and told him to knock it off. I expected him to be squatting beside the naan and preparing to throw it around a bit. I hoped he wasn’t unrolling the paper towels. 

What I saw was my son’s perfect little hands rolling the watermelon back and forth with a sparkle of something in his eye. I know now that it was mischief. Which makes sense given his age and, y’know, the whole Lokean thing I have going on. 

I am ashamed to admit I yelled at him to stop. My husband did as well. Our “no!” and “don’t you dare” were met with a slow-motion roll of the watermelon right off the table and onto the floor.

Fun fact: that watermelon was super ripe and juicy. I know because I saw the puddle it made on the floor in the three seconds it took for my husband to run into the kitchen and scoop it up. 

It was super annoying that Haggis broke open the watermelon, but it also got me to get off my rear and do something with it. 

This is why I now have a dozen watermelon ice pops, a tray of watermelon ice cubes, and a bowl of watermelon to snack on. I was also able to give Loki a pint of watermelon-strawberry juice and make an offering at our family altar to the land and house spirits as well as the ancestors and gods. Oh, and to make an impromptu offering of watermelon to Eir when a friend posted on Facebook that their family could use some blessings. 

If Haggis hadn’t rolled that watermelon off the table, it would still be sitting there, and, truth be told, at least half of it would have gone to waste. 

If you’re wondering what this has to do with anything, here is your answer:

It’s July. This month has been dedicated to Loki by his folk for nine years now. Some call it July for Loki. Others call it Lokabrenna. Personally, I dedicate both July and August to Loki because it’s easier than remembering when Sirius rises. Either way, this time is for Loki, and nothing is more Loki to me than a toddler throwing a watermelon on the floor so Loki can have some agua fresca. 

Before you get it twisted, no, I don’t actually think Loki inspired my three-year-old to toss the melon on the floor. I do, however, think that Loki was pleased with what came after. 

Happy July for Loki/Lokabrenna/Dog Days of Summer. 

Eat some watermelon and hug your babies.

A Gift For A Gift

Last night as we were settling down to sleep, Haggis was snuggled up between Ian and me, gripping a rubber clown nose that used to belong to Loki. Haggis, like plenty of toddlers before him, is mildly obsessed with balls. He saw the nose on Loki’s altar and decided, in his toddler way, that the nose was a ball and that it needed to be his. Because I am always a Heathen, I informed Haggis that if he wanted the “ball” he had to offer Loki something in exchange. A gift for a gift, right?

So Loki got a fancy cookie, Haggis got the “ball,” and I got to teach my little human a lesson.

I’m bringing this up because last night I talked to Lokian L about Loki and life, and the nonsense that one brings to the other on any given day. And in our chat, I remembered the interesting gift exchange that Loki and I have going.

Y’see, I have a favorite flavor of chips. And they aren’t easy to come by in the neighborhood I live in. Ordering them online is ridiculous both in terms of price and quantity. A treat is only a treat if you get it sparingly.

Anyway, last year around this time was in the local 7-11 with Ian and Haggis, and I saw flame-shaped gummies. Obviously, I thought of Loki. At the time, Loki’s offering bowl was overflowing with candy. So much so that I wanted to pass up the candy, but Ian insisted we get it because “Loki will love them.”

So I grabbed the flame gummies and went to get in line to checkout. As we queued up, Ian asked me to go grab another bag of chips because, y’know, snacks. So I did.

Y’all. I need to stress that I had already been in this aisle. I had already looked at every shelf in the hopes of finding the ketchup chips that Haggis loves. (Hint: I didn’t find them.) So when I tell you that I turned the corner in the empty 7-11 and my eyes landed on a bag of Utz Caroline BBQ chips – my FAVORITE chips – well…you know I hadn’t missed them the first time around.

I grabbed the bag of chips – which was beaten to hell by the way – and the other bag Ian wanted and got back in line.

Ian asked about my chips, but we both kinda shrugged because “maybe we missed them before.”

And that would have been that except it kept happening.

I need y’all to understand that the fountain drinks and Slurpee machines share the same aisle as the chips. So when the three of us schlep down to 7-11 for a Slurpee, we also see the chips. We check for things we like – because snacks – and those freakin’ Utz Carolina BBQ chips are never there when we do our first walkthrough.

They are there, however, after I grab a bag of candy for Loki. I know you think I’m full of shit. Hell, I would think I was full of shit if Ian hadn’t witnessed it too.

The Utz Carolina BBQ chips only appear after Loki gets candy. And the bag ALWAYS looks like it has been through some shit. On top of that, I never get a second bag if I haven’t already eaten the first bag yet. And there is never more than one bag at 7-11.

Listen. I know this sounds crazy. I know it does. But I also know that I don’t let Loki help me with anything because I have a toddler, and Haggis is already more nonsense than I can handle most days. I make offerings to Himself and thank him for my wonderful family and friends. I thank him for sending Lokian L into my life and for the awesome people I have met through my work for Him. But that is it.

And then he started throwing bags of chips at me.

I swear that I am not making this up. I also swear that I am half convinced Loki is stealing the chips from somewhere because the bags look like they have seen better days. The chips are always fresh, though, so I’m not complaining.

I guess all of this was my long-winded way of saying that I still don’t think Loki will take your car keys, but I am willing to admit he might commit petty theft in your name.

Erikasenna

For the unwise man ’tis best to be mute
when he come amid the crowd,
for none is aware of his lack of wit
if he wastes not too many words;
for he who lacks wit shall never learn
though his words flow ne’er so fast.
-Havamal 27

Before I get started, I want to stress that I understand the irony of using a “watch your mouth” quote when writing about Loki.

That said, I want to talk about something that happened at East Coast Thing last August.

I was alone with Haggis – who was and remains shy and Mama-centric – and stretched too thin by obligations of my own making. I was dropping the ball at every turn and leaning too heavily on others to pick up my slack. I’ve never been good at accepting help but, thankfully, the folks who stepped in didn’t ask. They just did it. Which is, if you don’t know already, an incredibly Heathen thing. We are helpers at heart. Bless us.

But I digress.

There I was, up to my poorly drawn on eyebrows in Stuff To Do and in walked a person who still has no idea how much their behavior shook me to my core.

The person in question took exception to my patience when it comes to Loki. Which is ridiculous because I haven’t been patient when it comes to ECT and Loki. I have poked and pushed and spoken loudly about Loki. My beautiful, amazing, delightful community has worked hard to open its collective arms to Loki – and me – in a timeframe that made everyone comfortable.

This person’s exception probably wouldn’t have bothered me if it had come after the event. Or at another ECT when I wasn’t failing to uphold my end of things. But it didn’t. It came during a time of stress and in a ritual devoted to Loki in the very Ve that I build and tend for him. A space I might add that I had to get community approval for and defend the building of. The Loki ve is a labor of love that has taken a considerable amount of faith and trust from the community.

The person who took issue with the pace of Loki’s acceptance at the event didn’t know or care about that. They didn’t know about the person who pushed past personal issues with Loki to tidy the ve because I was pregnant with Haggis and unable to get up at dawn to tidy after a rainstorm. They didn’t know about the kindred that came to watch the Loki blot one year to learn more and support their kinsperson who was interested in Loki. They didn’t know about the tears shed, or prayers answered in that space. They didn’t know that I was standing there with a baby on my back and trying my hardest to keep it together. All they knew was that what they wanted wasn’t what they were getting.

And they made their dissatisfaction known with a smirk and a scoff just as I was talking about the community and the progress we’d made together in Loki’s name.

It is believed that all things said over the horn in a blot are echoed through the realms. That scoff was loud enough that I heard it across the ample ritual space. Truth be told, I can still hear it eleven months later. And I suspect that disrespect still echoes through the realms as well. We are our deeds, after all.

I would like to say that I used Odin’s own words to silence the person, but I didn’t. I just gripped the horn and kept talking. Because the community that I tend that ve for deserved – and still deserves – maturity from its adult members.

I still carry that scoff in my heart, though. It will likely stay with me for a long time thanks to my imposter syndrome. I have friends who know how I feel. I have family members who have stepped in and reminded me that one disgruntled person doesn’t speak for our community.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How a person can make an offhanded comment and move on, but the people who hear it are left broken.

But that’s the thing. It’s not just one person in one moment that weighs on my heart.

It’s also the person scooted their camping chair as far from me as possible because I worship Loki. Do you know how hard it is to scoot a flimsy camping chair across uneven pavement covered in gravel?

Or the time someone wouldn’t share ritual space with me because they wanted to protect their wyrd. As if breaking frith doesn’t carry more weight than standing in a circle with a Lokean.

Or the comment thread on Facebook, where I was told I was akin to a child molester because I honor Loki. Yeah. That happened.

We tell the world who we are with our words and deeds.

Words have power, so to paraphrase Odin:

Watch your mouth.

Because people are listening and your name is all you have in the end.

What will your mouth tell people about you?

We: Himself & I.

In 2011 I promised Loki I would make him a batch of cupcakes using a really tasty sounding spice cake recipe I found online.

I can’t find the recipe anymore and spice cake mix is oddly thin on the ground in NYC but I finally – finally – made Himself some cupcakes. I used funfetti instead of spice cake and the frosting was a mix of blue and green store-bought instead of the whiskey and caramel butter cream I envisioned eight years ago. These have sprinkles and raspberry jam filling and are, frankly, way more indicative of my relationship with Loki than the other cupcakes would have been.

Haggis helped mix the ingredients and scooped out some of the batter. It was a family affair and, even if I do say so myself, the final product is nice.

I meant to make a dozen large cupcakes but after they were all measured out I noticed that there was just enough batter left for Loki to get himself a small cake as well. I’ll admit that I laughed when I realized that he was getting more than I bargained for. That’s also indicative of our relationship.

I have no idea what else I should write so I will end with this:

Hail Scar-Lip.

Hail Flame hair.

Hail Loki, you magnificent pain in the ass.

I love you.